Is it a Touareg or a Cayenne?

SeatGuru / Russian mechanics is the craziest people

Ridiculous Russian SUV Spotted

By Zack Newmark
January 23, 2008 1:06 PM
Filed Under: European, Porsche, Specialty Marques, Tuners, Volkswagen

If you know about the Moscow-run Millionaire Fair, held in both Russia and Amsterdam, then you know that it would be easy to argue that several Russians have been able to earn far too much money with little idea about how to spend it well.  Case in point is brought to you by CarsGuru, translated by English Russia, which has many pictures of a mash-up between a Porsche Cayenne and Volkswagen Touareg.  Whether you call it the Touarenne or the Cayeg, one thing you won't call it is good looking.

Just because Porsche and Volkswagen may become one company in the coming years, does not mean that someone should create a Frankensteinian combination of the two vehicles.  As Jalopnik points out, either this is a Cayenne with windows from a Touareg, or a Touareg with a lot of plastic surgery to make it appear like a Cayenne.

We know two things for sure.  First, the Porsche-style Speed Yellow color is totally unessential, as the car stands out enough as is (not necessarily a good thing).  Second, our children would kill us if we drove them to school in this bastardization.  In Japan, the designer of this SUV would have committed seppuku because of the dishonor he would have brought on himself and his family for creating this.

In Russia, the bodyshop probably got more work because of the final product.

Source: SeatGuru

Comments

Penner
January 23, 2008 1:16 PM
Not too bad, I think. With that colour every car would look Frankenstein-like. In black maybe, why not.

Nitric
January 23, 2008 1:19 PM
It's extremly customized Touareg :)

ShAwNeX
January 23, 2008 1:20 PM
I reckon it resemble a Smart car.

BegiG
January 23, 2008 1:37 PM
Pontiac Aztec + Sangyoung =Cayeg

Bristol411S3
January 23, 2008 1:41 PM
Truly monstrous. Delightfully reinforces all the stereotypes I hold about Russians and their money.

super_car_muscle_man
January 23, 2008 6:08 PM
exactly. i want to invest in making some piece of crap like that, take it to russia, find a fool who has got lucky with his oil money and tell him thats its 10 times more than everything else on the market and its the best looking thing out there and get rich off those lucky b*****s!

catch22
January 23, 2008 2:19 PM
The Cayenne and Touareg actually share front and rear doors so basically you couldn't tell apart from a sideview. However the front reveals that this is a Cayenne after all...

My two cents

ocean_drift
January 23, 2008 2:32 PM
You guys forgot to notice the Audi grill. So, all in all, They have learnt to master the art of platform sharing better! hehe!

ocean_drift
January 23, 2008 2:37 PM
Yep, I forgot to add , old merc C-class grill and a pontiac grill on the rear?

Or is it a radio active diffuser?

vincent_driver
January 29, 2008 6:40 PM
I can't agreee more the only thing missing is a bio-hazard sign next to it.

Marsman
January 23, 2008 3:04 PM
I think they got a cayyene body and coustomized it and added things to it

mickey_f1
January 23, 2008 3:44 PM
My God, this one is ugly! People on the streets would be scared if it appears round a corner! The russians must have forgotten what "proportion" means!

ck314
January 23, 2008 4:39 PM
It's clearly a VW Touareg (gloss black window contours and carved sills). The art of the grotesque I'd say.

gautdo
January 23, 2008 4:48 PM
It's a Touareg. If you take a look to the last side window, the cayenne and this one doesn't have the same. It looks very similar to a Touareg.

xLumino
January 23, 2008 5:04 PM
Yes, it's a wicked Touareg Some Details are very interesting styled, but the whole is a bit to strange. not my taste of tuning. A standart Cayenne looks better ^^

homebate
January 23, 2008 5:57 PM
Who designs these cars? Rich people think everything is cool if they pay 3 times the original value.

Gust3439
January 23, 2008 7:01 PM
isnt that a Q7 grill ?

smokeonit1
January 23, 2008 7:17 PM
touareg... ugly as hell... russians have no taste... unfortunately..

napehbNYC
January 25, 2008 11:40 PM
That is an ugly car, I agree, but its IMHO. To everybody its own. Someone might like it. And don't judge please the whole nation by just one person's deeds.

Alfafox5
January 23, 2008 7:46 PM
The skull on the back is pretty cool! LOL! What is sad is that it takes this radical design mess to make the plain jane Cayenne seem good-looking.What's with that name anyways, Cayenne belongs in a kitchen, not on a car. Overall the Toureg looks better IMO than a Cayenne, yet neither is very striking. The Cayenne has a similar bug-eyed look to this yellow school bus. Crazy all around,I guess beating a Cayenne / Toureg with a hammer does not make it more attractive.

Gio
January 23, 2008 9:03 PM
It is cayenne.I've seen this car in 2006 on supercar&bike show in Moscow

Marsman
January 23, 2008 10:50 PM
I would be scared it looks like a monster and I would hide in a trash can

bakrione
January 24, 2008 12:00 AM
i know what it is, its ugly

carcrazy1234
January 24, 2008 12:54 AM
one question and one question only to the owner of this frankenstein.... WHY? and dont tell me "its cuz he has a shitload of money".... even if he/she does... this is just f*cked up

ck314
January 24, 2008 1:54 AM
Be it Touareg or Cayenne, it underwent serious modifications. Perhaps Sbarro did this against a huge sum of money (and will?) lol

paulbe
January 24, 2008 5:23 AM
Something about it screams Chinese.

phobos
January 24, 2008 10:03 AM
the best looking car in the whole world

THERENAISSANCEMAN
January 24, 2008 1:15 PM
hold your horses as well as your prejudices , gentlemen . this car , for all you know , is Daimler-Benz's next SUV( Such an Ugly Vehicle ) entry into the next Frankfurt International Auto Show . They certainly have advertised themselves well at last year's event! Germans too can produce grotesque-looking automobiles , you know , as inspired largely by their Grimm fairy tales.all pun intended.

afterace2
January 25, 2008 11:24 AM
this gotta be the new ML facelift :D

coopergt
January 24, 2008 8:49 PM
How Much? I gotta have one!!!!!!

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