Is it a Touareg or a Cayenne?

If you know about the Moscow-run Millionaire Fair, held in both Russia and Amsterdam, then you know that it would be easy to argue that several Russians have been able to earn far too much money with little idea about how to spend it well.  Case in point is brought to you by CarsGuru, translated by English Russia, which has many pictures of a mash-up between a Porsche Cayenne and Volkswagen Touareg.  Whether you call it the Touarenne or the Cayeg, one thing you won't call it is good looking.

Just because Porsche and Volkswagen may become one company in the coming years, does not mean that someone should create a Frankensteinian combination of the two vehicles.  As Jalopnik points out, either this is a Cayenne with windows from a Touareg, or a Touareg with a lot of plastic surgery to make it appear like a Cayenne.

We know two things for sure.  First, the Porsche-style Speed Yellow color is totally unessential, as the car stands out enough as is (not necessarily a good thing).  Second, our children would kill us if we drove them to school in this bastardization.  In Japan, the designer of this SUV would have committed seppuku because of the dishonor he would have brought on himself and his family for creating this.

In Russia, the bodyshop probably got more work because of the final product.